Mischa Fox

I can’t believe we’re already in March. This year is flying by. It feels like late spring here in north Georgia–which I’m still not acclimated to, coming from northern climates. I’ve only been here three years so far, and to me, it still feels like the season has accelerated by two months.

EDS Update for the Week

My Visible tracker (which assesses my energy levels and capacity for physical, mental, or emotional stress) gave me atrocious readings all week. I’ve needed extra naps almost every day. I’ve gotten readouts of a “1” (the worst score, go back to bed immediately) for the first time this week.

This morning, I got three warnings in a row that I overexerted myself and should sit down and take a break–and all I was doing was making my morning coffee and a smoothie. Finally admitting I really was as exhausted as the alert insisted, I ended up canceling my social plans and had a very long (nearly 3 hour) emergency nap to recover. It helped, but I’m still out of it.

I was not happy at all to admit this evening that in my foolish focus on getting as much written as I can before my grad school courses begin… I’m burning myself to a crisp. Which will have bad consequences for my Ehlers Danlos (hence, the severe exhaustion today), which will cascade into my ability to write at all. Or study in summer, or see friends, or get through work…. or even sit upright.

It’s my least favorite part of the disorder. There’s so much I want to do–and my body is forcing me to be Still. It’s a harsh lesson, and I seem determined not to learn it–so my body decided it needs to take control with an automatic shut-off switch.

I am bursting with ideas right now, and not enough time to write them out. Having my body demand I slow down…. makes me even more frustrated with this.

I’m doing my best to sit and read this weekend instead of the writing I had planned.

After all–I’m not under a deadline yet. Only self-imposed ones. I can breathe.

All I let myself do tonight was arrange some old files and set up some word count/beat sheet trackers for revisions.

I had a few surprises, since some of these have been shelved since my twenties. So, let’s jump into the next journal entry….