Dear Georgia
i lifted you a line out of curiosity
to see if there was any remnant of worth
any salvagable scrap
i only found the damp side of the rock
the parts kissing worms
i need to thank the two nouveau southern belles
for how they shaped my life
i never had a wide selection of friends then
(and you made certain i knew it was a favour)
and you have been playing this game together so long
i wonder if you’ve been fooled
i wonder if you thought i had no clue
i’ve always had the ability
to prick and peel and poke
at the painted perfection
to the rotted warped wood beneath
been doing it all my life
the singer used to be my sister
the other a parasitic imposter
doesn’t matter which is which anymore
they long since proved they deserved each other
the night
they both let the phone drop
and left me there
laying near death on the bathroom floor
circa 2000
with the pathetic exuse of
“um… yeah… i think i have a test tomorrow…”
so that’s how much you value
my life my soul
yes yes yes yes yes
thanks for that
i have never forgiven either of you for
showing your true colours
and left me for dead
i’ve ignored your existence
dear georgia
i’ve been in hell long enough
to love it
more than a little
now i’m comfortable
so far from what most call light
now that i’ve conquered her
like a good girl
she stands at my back
warming my skin and soul
like a good pup
she follows on my heels
so georgia
you wanted to catch up
FINE
i held my own
with the big boys
the wolves of the industry
and walked away fairly clean
after i was beautifully disillusioned
about the truth of most directors in film and theatre
and the producers in the studios
i found it wasn’t worth it
and i came home
i haven’t flown since
dear georgia
i know i disgust you
it was no secret
this interest feigned was all so you could keep chains
on the only exotic thing you’d ever seen
just keep it in a cage and shake it
like all the rest
slide your stingers in
your harpoons and hooks
try to use it anyway you can
and discard it
when it runs out of blood
dear georgia
i bet i’m a harlot of satan in your eyes today
something fascinating and flailing failing
to stab with sharp sticks
oh honey no that was my name once
in hellish milwaukee
where i ran with vampires and punk rockers
i sit now fearless at Hades feet
where He strokes my curls
and i listen to tales of wisdom lost wide-eyed as a child
dear georgia
i am flattered to disappoint
my disgust for you flows black and brackish
that you never batted an eyelash
when i was beaten raped and left limp and destroyed on the floor
so pooh-pooh for your disasterous miseries and the boredom of matrimony
i haven’t had much sympathy for freshman heartache
since i had a knife held to my throat
since i looked death in the eye and won
dear georgia
i live without regret
i have tasted each of my dreams
and walked away for good reasons
to preserve myself
i have won every battle i fought
and chosen them well
i did not fail
as i’m so sure you thought
and my life has been amazing
i am a wild thing
i’ve been inside recording studios and on stages and sets
on runways and photography shoots
i’m one of the rare women who gets backstage passes
without offering to fuck the doorman
but on mystery and merit alone
drink the beer and go home without the band
and ran with my own as the helmsman
under my aliases i am listed
as one of the most beautiful sexiest smartest women alive
i won philosophical accolades at nineteen
and wrote a manuscript at twenty-two
and loved bohemia ever since i fell into it
oh yes give me seedy ugly honesty
and i may just make my ends meet
but that’s enough for me
so tease my spinsterhood
i’ve had lovers of both sexes
in every race and ethnic and spiritual background
i have been rich in love and lust
i have been blessed with beautiful people
of every walk of life
adored and worshipped and kissed
by actors models rockstars ceos and the rest
and found them all lacking
and you will never know the strength it takes
to walk away from an abusive man
and you will never know the will it takes
to bring a schizophrenic home
and you will never know the love it takes
to break off engagements
and dear georgia
when it comes to love
i’ll settle for nothing less than the perfect fit
in every sphere
and he or she will be down on knees to prove it
i will not settle for an almost second best
because the expiration date on my forehead is nearing
but i’m still gonna have fun and write poetry erotica
on the delicious ride until i find the right one
and that, loves, is why i’m not married
i am goddamn picky
so you see georgia
i’m not easily impressed
i have no patience for small talk
i see right through
my life hasn’t been a happy one
but fuck
it’s been interesting
and i guess looking at this list of
experience and accomplishment
i have to smile
and say i’m doing all right
so take that back to the rest of the class
that i haven’t thought about
since the day i set myself free
©️ 2007
Originally posted on my DeviantArt
Mischa Fox 